Some Adults Should Be Seen and Not Heard

Ahhh... the supermodel: vessel of female perfection in all of her glory. Don't we all just LOVE them?

And don't we all just LOVE how they're back on the catwalk mere weeks after giving birth?

And most especially, don't we just LOVE how after one child, they're suddenly an expert on EVERYTHING to do with parenting?

To Gisele Bundchen: Climbing Up the Slide would like to officially tell you to SHUT YOUR TRAP!

Now, this is not normally like me. For the most part, I want us all to parent the way that we feel is best, be free to do what works for our families, and to live and let live.

In this case, I feel that I am allowed to be a little less "Kum by ya" about the whole thing.

Gisele Bundchen, famous for parading around in teeny scraps of cloth, is now an expert on labour, childbirth and breastfeeding. She had a natural home-birth. Bully for her. If that's your thing, by all means, you should do it! I have no issues here, except that she's rather smug about it. Still...

It's her opinion on breastfeeding that has me seeing red: "I think breastfeeding really helped [her to regain her stick figure]. Some people here think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think, 'Are you going to give chemical food to your child, when they are so little?'

"There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months."

WHA-HUH???

Gisele, sweetheart, HUSH! When did women become slaves? When did we lose the right to CHOOSE how to be a mother? What exactly would be the penalty for breaking such a law? Hard labour? (Oh, I crack myself up sometimes - get it? Hard LABOUR???)

Should women breastfeed if it's possible? Yes, sure. We've ALL heard that it's best, ad nauseum, but some women just plain aren't able to, for physical or emotional reasons. I have seen many moms with PPD who stop out of frustration and depression that things aren't going along swimmingly for them. Should they be thrown in jail? Have their children taken away? Forced to live in a depressed state, hating themselves and their babies because of depression?

Maybe I shouldn't have been allowed to have kids, since I had a breast reduction and was only able to produce a fraction of the breast milk that my children needed to, you know, live and all.

Don't get me wrong: I am glad that the pendulum is swinging back towards breast is best, but sometimes as a parent, second-best isn't so bad, either. If there is any mom (or dad) out there who ALWAYS does the best thing for their child, I'd like to meet them and bow down at their self-righteous feet, because every parent that I know does the best thing as often as they can, but sometimes just has to settle for second- (or third-) best. We are people, too, and having a child doesn't change our right to do what's best for US, as well. We just have to figure out who "wins" at any given time when what's best for them, and what's best for us, is different.

So back to Gisele: I say, go back to standing around in your underwear. At least in print ads we don't have to listen to you.

The Mommy Wars Strike Again

Yesterday I posted about Sandra Bullock's new baby, and how happy I am for her. It seemed yesterday that the entire world (or those who care about such things) was happy for her.

Today, I find out that there are those who have decided that they "dislike her character very much" or "have lost a lot of respect for her". Sheesh! That's quite a change! "What did she DO?" you might wonder.

She chose to circumcise her infant son.

I make no secret of the fact that I'm anti-circumcision. However, some of the comments I read on a blog (ironically titled "Peaceful Parenting") shocked me.

"James" said:

A complete failure of the responsibility to care for and protect the baby she adopted. Poor defenseless child. Scarred for life. But at least she enjoyed the party :( 

"James L" said:

Sandra Bullock said of getting her adopted son's penis ritually cut was, "the greatest moment I have ever had in my life"!? Sorry Sandra, whatever sympathies we might have had for your personal sorrows made public, or whatever happiness we might have shared from your triumphs are gone. You have proven yourself, with this action and this quote, proven yourself to be ignorant. Willfully ignorant. Very stupid and sad. 

"Katie" said:

Ugh, and I was just happy for her over the past few hours after learning she had adopted a son. She sounds just like Christina Aguilera with the whole super-fun penis party. Gag. 

Okay, seriously, what's done is done. She made her decision with the best information that she had. We don't know her reasoning, and while I doubt I'd agree with it anyway, I have NOT lost respect for her, nor do I find her disgusting. I am disappointed that she chose to publicize her decision so much, as we all know that when a celebrity does something and tells the world there are those who will follow for no other reason than that "Sandra did it."

However, ONE parenting decision, whether you or I or anyone else agrees with it or not, does NOT make a person a bad mother! She didn't decide to switch his formula with Jack Daniels. She didn't decide to ride with him in her lap instead of a car seat while going down the freeway (hello Britney!)

I have a lot of friends who circumcised their sons. Do I wish they hadn't? Truthfully, yes. Does it change my feelings about them as people, or my level of respect for them? Absolutely not.

Give it a rest, people. After everything the woman has been through in the past few months, the last thing she needs is all of you piling on top of her for a decision that she can't do anything about now. Focus your energy on things that you CAN change.

Congrats to Sandra Bullock!

I am just a gushy mess of happiness for Sandra Bullock this morning. All of these months there's been a lot of Poor Sandra's going around, and of course she's still gone through a lot of heartbreak, but what unbelievable joy, too!

Welcome to the Slide, Sandra. Enjoy the climb!

You can read a preview of the article here.

Duggar Baby #19

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20326622,00.html

She arrived earlier than expected, but the 19th Duggar baby is here!

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar welcomed daughter Josie Brooklyn, weighing 1 lb., 6 oz., at 6:27 p.m. Thursday, at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences, Arkansas.

Michelle, who has been in the hospital recovering from a gallstone, was taken to the OR for an emergency C-section. She is resting comfortably and the baby is stable and in the NICU for extended care, a rep for the network tells PEOPLE exclusively.

"The most important thing right now is for mom and baby Josie to get as much rest as possible," reads the statement to PEOPLE. "The family is grateful for all the prayers and well wishes during their recovery."

I mentioned before that I'm not a Duggar fan. While they may be wonderful people, very moral, and have countless other good qualities, I do find their choice regarding number of children to be irresponsible (and this is from someone with four kids of her own). However, I would never wish for anyone to have a micro-preemie, which is, of course, what baby Josie is. I know several people who have been in this situation, and their children survived, they were not completely unscathed, and the Duggar family has a long road ahead of them.

Another article here says that it was not due the gallbladder problems that were previously reported, but because of preeclampsia that she was born early. I'm somewhat astonished to hear this, since my understanding is that if your first pregnancy (or pregnancies, in this case) were healthy, it's extremely unusual that you will develop it in subsequent ones.

Anyway, I do hope that the baby will be all right.

Awww... cute!

I know a lot of people like them. I'm not a huge fan of the Duggars (I know I wanted - and got - a big family, but that's just ridiculous!) However, this morning I saw People's article about the first Duggar grandchild, and I have to repost it, since that is just one CUTE baby. Plus, whether I like it or not, they ARE news, and certainly are a polarizing topic in the land of Mommydom.

Everyone else is talking about them...

I am a child of divorce. Not exactly uncommon in my age group. My family really does have it down to a bit of a science, though. My paternal grandparents divorced in the late 1940s, a time when it was very uncommon. My grandfather wanted to go back overseas after the war, to work with the League of Nations (later the UN). My grandmother did not want to take their very young son to war-torn Europe. My father grew up not knowing anything about his father. He was actually 26 years old before he ever saw him again. As my mother puts it, he didn't know if his father was dead, or in jail, or anything. I believe that he knew his name, and that was it. My grandmother was so hurt by the divorce that she refused to talk about him. In fact it was only in the last few years of her life before dementia took over that I ever heard her speak his name.

My parents were married for nine years before I was born. 10 months later my father decided that he wanted a divorce. It's kind of hard not to take that personally, I have to admit. However, after four kids of my own, I also tell all new parents the same thing: the first year after a baby will likely be the hardest one(s) in your marriage. If you survive that, you will likely be fine. Obviously no one gave them that advice. My father has since married three other times, all ending in divorce.

The one thing that I have to say about my mom (other than how much I love her for raising me completely on her own, since my father moved to the US shortly after they split up, and has been there ever since) is that she never badmouthed my father. In fact, she seemed very hurt if anyone said anything bad about him, including me.

Which, of course, leads me to the Gosselins. A completely overdone topic, but hey, I'm weighing in anyway because I think they're just exhibiting a bigger issue. I have never watched an entire episode of their show. I remember seeing them on Oprah once a few years back. I believe I watched about ½ an episode a year or so ago. That kind of reality show honestly just isn't my thing. I'm more of a “Biggest Loser” or “American Idol” kind of girl.

They are kind of hard to avoid these days, though. I honestly can't get over the amount of attention that these people are getting just because they're splitting up. They certainly never were on the cover of tabloids when they were (playing?) the happy not-so-little family.

Couples get divorced. It happens. It's no longer shocking to see a single mom or dad with their kids. What appalls me about this situation is that these parents (moreso Dad, from what I've seen, but both are guilty) seem to be more interested in bashing each other publicly than in their children's welfare.

Some might say that they've never shown much interest in their children's welfare right from the start, what with putting their kids in a situation reminiscent of the Dionne Quintuplets, but I could see a family who was struggling to provide for their eight kids wanting to make some “easy” money. All they had to do was live their lives, right? So assuming that these two actually had their children's best interests at heart to begin with, why wouldn't they continue to do that?

One of the most important things to remember when a couple with kids split up is that your children share DNA with the person that you can quite possibly no longer stand to be around. If you're badmouthing him/her, you're badmouthing half of who they are. Do they not think that their kids know what's going on? That Mom is accusing Dad of stealing the very food out of their mouths? That Dad is running around with a 22-year-old bimbo and saying that Mom emotionally abused him?

Even if by some miracle they are actually able to shelter the kids from this right now, and are keeping their opinions to themselves in private, do they not realize that these stories won't just disappear when all of this dies down? Ten years from now, a simple internet search will bring it all back to the surface again, and they will know, and they will hurt.

Not all marriages can last forever. Not all of them should. But when you choose to involve children in your relationship it becomes about something bigger than you. You have a responsibility to those kids to protect them from as much of the hurt as you can. How is slamming one of the two people that they love most in the world going to do that?

All I can say is grow up Gosselins, before it's too late. I'm kind of afraid that it already is, though.

On a side note, I don't particularly like Nancy Grace for reasons to numerous to count, but I have to say, this clip would have made me laugh, if it weren't so damned sad.