Update on the "Single Ladies"

I wondered if there would be a response from the parents or the dance school, and lo and behold only a few minutes later I found this at ABC News. Sorry, but I'm not buying it. Just because it "wasn't meant to be seen by millions of people" it's okay? And the bumping and grinding was not "taken out of context" because quite frankly, eight and nine year olds don't need that in a dance competition.

What's Wrong with Just Being Seven?

There was a video floating around today of a girls' dance troupe. It showed five seven-year-old girls, dressed in red satin boy shorts and crop tops, trimmed with black lace, dancing to Beyoncé's Single Ladies. It apparently went viral, getting over 2,000,000 hits, although by tonight it's been pulled down from YouTube for copyright infringement (by the video company, apparently). I did manage to find it again here:


Vezi mai multe video din Sport

First off, there is absolutely no denying the talent of these little girls. I'm astonished that girls that age can dance that well.

That being said, as a mom, I'm outraged. That any choreographer/dance teacher would find that appropriate for little girls is beyond me. That parents would allow their young daughters to do bump and grinds like that, wearing costumes that, quite frankly, make them look like hookers, is astonishing. Someone compared it to the pageant circuit, where apparently ambition for your child's success often trumps common sense.

I saw CNN's Anderson Cooper interviewing Dr. Phil about this, and he had a good point: out of those 2,000,000 views, how many were pedophiles? Because it was ripe for that.

When I was seven, I was pining for a Cabbage Patch Kid (yes, I'm dating myself again). I was wanting to listen to Michael Jackson's Thriller without upsetting my mom. I made houses out of cardboard boxes for my cats. I fought to get to stay up late enough to watch The Cosby Show. I wasn't grinding my hips on stage wearing next to nothing. I may still have been wearing geeky corduroy pants made by my grandmother at that point, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Why do little girls have to get sexualized at such a young age? I don't honestly even understand why letting little girls wear "bikinis" to go swimming is so cute. Aren't we supposed to be protecting them? Teaching them some self-worth? Teaching them that they are more than just their bodies? Because if this is what they're learning at seven years old, how will they rationalize saying "no" when they're pressured as teenagers? "It's okay, it's no big deal." Wrong. It IS a big deal.

The sad thing is, that those girls are so talented that they could have had tamer costumes and done a less provocative routine to that same song and it would have been just as good. Unfortunately we won't get to see that version.

I'm very curious to see if, in the next few days, this dance school comes forward with some kind of response.

Ontario Liberals on the Defensive about New Sex Ed Curriculum

Dalton McGuinty is under attack again. Not for the HST this time, but for the new Sex Ed curriculum that's been developed for Ontario public schools.

The main points of contention are this:

• In Grade 1, students will learn about anatomy, including genitalia and the proper names for genitalia.
• In Grade 3, students will learn about gender identity and sexual orientation.
• In Grade 5, students will be taught to identify parts of the reproductive system and describe how the body changes during puberty.
• In Grade 6, students will learn about masturbation and wet dreams.
• In Grade 7, students will learn about oral and anal sex, and how to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

Not exactly surprising, but there's already a great hue and cry about this from those who say that only parents should be teaching sex ed. There's even more upset because Catholic schools cannot choose to opt out of the curriculum. It should be noted, though, that the curriculum was, in fact, approved by Ontario's Catholic bishops, though. That being said, parents can, as they always have been able to, choose to not allow their children to participate.

I admit that I'm not a conservative parent, but I will never understand sheltering your kids from the world. Do I want my 11 year old having oral sex? Um, no, and I certainly hope that I'll teach them well enough that they're smart enough not to do so. But truthfully my kids already know that homosexuality exists, and we've even had discussions about transgendered people with our oldest. They know the proper names for body parts from an early age, even if we do sometimes jokingly use silly names. I want them to feel in charge of their own bodies because the reality is that there are people out there who do not respect other people's bodies, and I feel that's the best protection that I can offer them. To teach them what's theirs, and that no one has a right to touch them in any way that makes them feel uncomfortable, no matter what age they are.

Not to mention all of the people who say that this should be taught at home are neglecting one important thing: for a lot of kids this would NEVER be taught at home, either through ignorance or apathy. The curriculum in a public school system has to do the best it can for the majority of the students. Personally, I wholeheartedly support this new curriculum.

I actually like this quote from NDP MPP Cheri DiNovo, a former United Church Minister: "The gift of sexuality, and the gift of body parts from God is a gift. It's a gift all children need to learn about; we all need to learn about."

Responsibility for "THE TALK" More Often Falls on Mom

My oldest daughter just turned nine. It occurs to me that it won't be long until we need to have "the talk". You know the one: the one that strikes terror into the heart of every parent. The SEX talk.

I've always assumed that I would be the one talking to the girls, while Dad would get to discuss the joy of sex with the boys. Of course, it will depend on who they go to with questions, but I just can't see my daughters voluntarily asking their father about their periods, or birth control options. Then again, I can only imagine the looks on the boys' faces if I did what a friend's mom did when I was a teenager: she handed him a box of condoms, a banana, and told him to "practice". He was so shy, too. I bet he wanted to fall through the floor!

However, according to this article, more often than not it's Mom who gets to have the conversation. I suppose that may simply be because Mom is the one who is generally around more (not in all homes, of course, but in many) and so an innocent question gets asked which has to be answered. My mom tells me that I first asked about where babies come from while she was driving on the 401 and she nearly drove off the road!

I asked on a couple of parenting message boards for stories from those who had already been down this road. One mom told me about her experience with her step-daughter: "I had to have a revision of said talk with B. this summer that included birth control. We both were pretty skeeved I think, but I did my best to be informative without being overly permissive (we talked a lot about the emotional ramifications of not only the sex, but accidentally getting pg as a teenager)." The "skeeved" part seems to be a fairly common thing: I also got told that one daughter was "appropriately creeped out." Myself, I remember being horrified by the very idea.

I've always pictured myself as the open, cool mom who would be okay with talking about these things with her kids. So far I'm still hoping that will be the case. At this point my daughter is vehemently anti-boy as anything other than "friend." I can only hope that lasts a while longer, but I also won't allow myself to be delusional about it. I know of one mom who is so sure that her daughters (and she has four of them) will listen to her message of abstinence before marriage that she absolutely refuses to believe that they would ever rebel against her. I just find that really sad. If I remember correctly, what I said to her is that by the time they are teenagers, we as parents can only control their actions so much. We are meant to be guides, and hope that they will be smart enough to follow instructions.

I'm tense just writing about this! Can I just freeze time for a few more years???